Barack Obama visits South Woodham Ferrers.

Obama at South Woodham Ferrers Kebab Van.Obama at South Woodham Ferrers Kebab Van.

The job of leading the USA is not a simple one, some may even say it’s a bit complicated, over the years American presidents have often had a favourite retreat to get away from all their problems and clear their heads, Obama is no different in this respect, but where he is different is his choice of location, a quiet Essex town known as South Woodham Ferrers.

Over the years we have built up a mutual trust with Obama, which is why he let us know about his most recent visit, not only did he let us know, he also gave us a few minutes to ask him some questions, although he did stipulate that it should be nothing too taxing as this is supposed to be a holiday.

So first things first, we asked him “Why South Woodham Ferrers?”

Obama: “It reminds me of a simpler time, I like to fantasize about trying to solve parking issues instead of the middle east.”

Us: “What do you like to do here?”

Obama: “I like to get lost in the town center for hours until I stumble upon the kebab van, and then I like to buy some cheesey chips, although today it’s too hot so I’ve gone for some colorful stuff in a cup. I also love to climb bushey hill and experience the view from the radar tower.”

Obama climbs Bushey Hill.

Obama climbs Bushey Hill.

Us: “So you enjoy the kebab van food, what about somewhere to drink?”

Obama: “I love the atmosphere in the Town Crier, but it’s pretty hard to remain anonymous in there so I usually grab a crate of Stella and sit down by the river.”

Us: “Why don’t you bring Michelle and the kids?”

Obama: “I do, but they prefer to stay in Burnham, I think staying in the White House has made them soft, I’m still ghetto though so I like it out here on the streets.”

Us: “What sets this town apart from others around here?”

Obama: “I’ve always been fascinated with your station, sometimes I just stare at all the bits of garbage that people throw on the tracks.”

Obama at South Woodham Ferrers Station.

Obama at South Woodham Ferrers Station.

Interesting stuff I’m sure you’ll agree, due to security issues we’re only allowed to publish stories about Obama after he’s already left the town, but let us know if you have any questions for him so we can ask them for you on his next visit.

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